Over the weekend I read an interesting self-improvement book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck- by Mark Manson.
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I really enjoyed reading this book.
Mr. Manson has a unique way of explaining things in an unfiltered way that speaks to you on a whole different level than most of the personal development books out there. Mark uses plenty of profanity and sometimes harsh real world references to get his message across.
Mark begins by explaining his personal philosophy of not giving a fuck.
“The idea of not giving a fuck is a simple way of reorienting our expectations for life and choosing what is important and what is not.”
The power of choice
Later In the book he used a great example to illustrate the power of choice and deciding the meaning of an event has for your life.He said try to imagine how much it would suck to have someone put a gun to your head and force you to run a 26.2 mile marathon. Then he goes on to explain how great would you feel after running that same marathon had you chose to run it instead. If you bought the running gear and trained and fully prepared beforehand it could be a hugely positive experience for you.
Its the exact same marathon, the only difference is why you did it and, I believe more importantly, the meaning you chose to give to that event. When you chose to go through with running it was empowering and made you feel successful. When you were forced to run it was horrifying and painful. This can be applied to your life since the meaning you apply to events many times affects how you feel about the event.
Mark’s 5 values
In the book Mark also explains the 5 values that he believes are the most beneficial values one can adopt.
- Taking responsibility for everything that occurs in your life. This is different from blaming yourself and taking fault for everything.
- Acknowledging Uncertainty: admitting your own ignorance and looking for reasons that you are wrong. By admitting you are wrong opens up the possibility to change and improve.
- Failure: the willingness to discover your own flaws and mistakes so that they may be improved upon.
- Rejection: the ability to both say and hear no, thus clearly defining what you will and will not accept in your life.
- Paying attention to your own death helps us keep all our other values in proper perspective.
Some quotes I enjoyed
“Because happiness requires struggle. It grows from problems. Joy doesn’t just sprout out of the ground like daisies and rainbows. Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles. Whether you suffer from anxiety or loneliness or obsessive-compulsive disorder or a dickhead boss who ruins half of your waking hours every day, the solution lies in the acceptance and active engagement of that negative experience—not the avoidance of it, not the salvation from it.”
“This, in a nutshell, is what “self-improvement” is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life.”
Excerpts and quotes are from: Manson, Mark. “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.” HarperCollins, 2016-08-08. iBooks.
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